Chocolate Box
by L. C. Webbs
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki has plenty on his plate as a literally crazy highschool student. When his french teacher decides he needs a French tutor, Naruto knows he's going to have to deal with another annoying prick. He just doesn't know how right he is.
1. In Which Naruto Fails At French Again

Okay…so this is a story that I started writing a couple of years ago. Then I stopped writing fanfiction because I needed to get my life back in order, so this never got put up. But it was a pretty good story so here we go.

Warnings: Uh…slash and straight love. Cussing. I'm not a doctor, and I don't suffer from schizophrenia. But with the help of medical journals and google, I hope to be able to BS enough to where I look like I know what I'm doing. But I don't. Feel free to help me out.

Oh and ya…I need a beta. Review if you want the position.

Summary: Naruto Uzumaki was already dealing with a crazy foster father, a psychologist who hated him and an imaginary fox demon who wouldn't stop talking to him, but a French tutor? That was the last thing he needed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Nor do I own any Bokononist theories.

A/N (actually beta's note): Bokonism is the idea that you are put on this earth to meet certain people and do god's will. The people in your group form is called _karass_, it was created by Kurt Vonnegut, and you can read about this in the book Cat's Cradle.

**Chocolate Box**

"_My momma always told me, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."-Forrest Gump_

If this were about a life, I could start from the beginning of a life, indeed, of several lives. But it is not. It is just a story, just an exert.

It has a beginning.

It begins with three things: time being ignored; a test not being studied for; and a bump.

It has an ending.

You will see.

--------

It would be a lie if I said Naruto Uzumaki was always late. He wasn't always late. He wasn't even often late. But he was human, and sometimes, time slips away. Naruto just had bad timing.

On the morning of the 31st of January, there was a French test. 1st period.

Naruto ran.

"Fuck - shit - fuck - damn - _FUCK_!" This was the last time he ever drank coffee before bed. That stuff was the poor man's crack.

Naruto, of course, was not thinking about that. In fact, he was not thinking about much at all, except for what his French test was on (Is it on the passé compose?).

He was certainly not thinking, as he rushed to school, whom else might be walking to school. He had not even entertained the thought of his clumsiness and his mind had not stretched so far to think that he might run into one certain person in his _karass. _Of course he did. Rather roughly.

The soft wall of carbon-based meat was named Sasuke Uchiha.

"Watch where you're walking, dobe," Naruto's jaw dropped at the insult. This man barely knew him and to be so _mean_. It was unfair.

"Shut up teme!" he snapped in reply. Sasuke bristled. How dare this punk run into him then, _insult_ him?

"Don't make me kick your ass here, dobe," There it was again, that annoying nickname.

"You jerk, I'll kick your ass anytime!" Naruto looked down at his watch, wincing. "_Except_ for now." The school bell rang, and Naruto hurried up the stairs and into the school building. "I'll take care of you later," He called after him. "French test – first period!"

Sasuke scoffed.

**------**

_Take the verb and put into the future tense:_

_Qu'est-ce que tu __(faire) après le lycée._

Naruto chewed on his pencil and thought intently about how much he hated French. And that weird, dark-haired kid who had been such a prick. Naruto's face turned red at the thought of the boy. Who the hell was he anyways? The kid had insulted him _and _threatened to kick his ass and Naruto didn't even know his name.

Naruto's pencil scratched.

_fairais._

Naruto hated the future tense anyways. He had always lived for the present and not cared about the future. Why did there have to be tense for it?

He _swore_ it was just to give him another test to fail.

_J'__espère que tu m' (envoyer) des cartes postales_

And ten other similar questions followed.

Why had he taken this class again? He was sure he couldn't remember. He glanced to the side and saw pink hair with a headband keeping it out of her face. Full lips were cutely chewing on an eraser and eyes glared at the test paper, as if demanding answers from it.

Sakura. Beautiful, sweet Sakura. So unlike that jerk from this morn-

Why did he keep popping up again?

"Two minutes." Kakashi said. Damnit.

Naruto's pencil quickly scratched in an answer for the rest of the questions. It meant the same thing. It was in the present tense. Hell, it was even in French.

_Je ne sais pas_.

I do not know.

---------

Naruto walked out of class, taking out 2 wrinkled and much-loved sheets of paper. He was the type of person to make notes, although this was soon to change.

One list was named:

"French Tests I Have Failed."

_It included (but was not limited to):_

_The Verb 'faire'_

_The Verbs 'conduire' and 'aller'_

_French Adjectives_

_Use of 'cequece qui' and 'ce don't'_

And, newly added,

_The Use of Future Tense_

The second list was named:

"Things I Hate."

This list was a little more complicated. Naruto's tastes were like a wheel. There was a different priority every week.

Naruto took out the list and scratched out '_the sound __of__ desks being dragged across the floor', _and replaced it with, '_that kid with the dark hair that looks like a duck-butt who ran into me.'_

He was, of course, talking about Sasuke Uchiha.

End Chapter One.

The answer Naruto gives to the first question is wrong. It's actually _feras_ which means "will be done."

_Faire means 'to do' or 'to make'_

_Aller means 'to go' and conduire means 'to drive' (a car)._

_Cequece qui and ce don't is like what, who and that. I think. Don't quote me on that._

Yes, this story will mention Bokononism a lot. Why? Because I want it to. Just a hint people: It's not an actual religion and I don't really believe in Bokononism. It's just a cool idea.

Peace out, homes.


	2. In Which Sasuke Recieves An Offer

Thank you so much for all the reviews. I even got some emails. I feel so loved.

-Sasuke and Naruto don't know each other. They are in different classes, but are in the same grades. If you go to a big enough school, this is completely plausible. I meet new seniors every day (And I've been going to school with these people since 6th grade!)

-I am currently in French three, so the question from Naruto's test came from an actual French three book.

-Oops. Sorry, it's Uchiha, not Uchia. Thanks for the correction.

I don't know if I mentioned this last chapter, but I will only be doing one disclaimer for the entire story. I see no point in disclaiming every chapter, since it is doubtful that the state of my affairs and the state of Naruto's will change during the duration of this story. If it does, I'll make sure to let you know.

**Chocolate Box**

**--**

"_So a Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar and the priest says 'Hey, have you heard the one about us?'"_

**In Which Sasuke Receives an Offer**

**-- **

"_So a Jew and a black man walk into a bar and the Jew turns to the black man and says…"_

Naruto tuned out from the proverbially-offensive joke and tuned into Sakura, who was only a table away from him, in a shining sort of glory that only girls seem to possess. Naruto liked the way she ate. It was dainty. Fragile. Like every grape was a baby, waiting to be nurtured. Never having had a mother (at least, not one in his natural memory, he supposed everyone has a mother. And sometimes he liked to imagine his mother did mother-type things like rock him or sing, or scolded him when he ate too many sweets-and sometimes he mixed up imagining and memory, so he couldn't say actual memory because he didn't _know_.) Naruto wanted one more than anything sometimes. Right now, he wished he was a grape. Sakura didn't eat her grapes like a beast-chunking them in her mouth and mashing them viciously-but instead, she pealed the skin off, making sure never to hurt the soft pulp underneath and when the grape was pealed, taking it into her mouth, sucking out the flavor and then swallowing it in one gulp, always careful never to bite.

Pure heaven.

Sakura had refused Naruto affections forty-seventy times, all because she was waiting for Sasuke Uchiha. Which, of course, wouldn't have worked out anyway because she was a lesbian.

Of course, she didn't know she was a lesbian. Just as Naruto didn't know that Sasuke was in his _karass__, and_ as Sasuke didn't know that his dealings with Naruto would become an occurrence every Monday afternoon. Their lives were irreversibly intertwined in a happy-sad, tangled mess.

Oh, what a mess it was.

---  
**  
**  
Sasuke sat, during the second lunch period, which was also Kiba's, Neji's and Gaara's lunch period – although that wasn't quite important, just yet.

"_Hey, you guys wanna hear a joke?"_

It wasn't Naruto's and Sakura's lunch period.

In fact, Naruto had completely slipped Sasuke's mind. He no longer remembered the boy he had run into this morning. He was not an Important Character.

That's something Naruto didn't like about Sasuke. He believed in Characters.

--

Twenty-five minutes earlier, Naruto had walked up to Sakura with a look of determination only god could pull off. Sakura had finished eating her grapes. She had moved onto her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Naruto wished she was alone.

Sakura wished she was alone too and inwardly groaned as she saw Naruto approach.

"Here's Don Juan." Ino said. It was an attempt to be funny. A nearby girl laughed (even though she isn't part of this story). It would have been funnier, had there been anything in common with Don Juan and Naruto. Don Juan was Mexican. Naruto was Japanese. Don Juan was the world's greatest lover, and had over 1500 women before he died. Naruto will never have a woman. Don Juan was a great and powerful swordfighter. The only bit of a sword that Naruto knew about was that the pointy end is away from the swordfighter and hopefully into another person. But that wasn't the point. The point was to be insulting.

Sakura shushed her with a glare. She liked Naruto. She genuinely did. She didn't want to hurt him. Again.

She was going to anyways. She had to – she was waiting for Sasuke.

--

"_And then the Jew says 'Wait a minute, that's not my cat!__"_

Sasuke didn't laugh at the poor and humorless joke. Some boys surrounding the joke teller – Kiba – did, however. Sasuke was glad somebody got it, because he sure as hell didn't.

When he stopped paying attention to Kiba and stared back in front of him, Kakashi was there.

--

Naruto wasn't nervous.

If anything, he was calm and collected. He had been dumped forty-eight times. But this time, you see, this time was different. The sun was out today. It had been out on other days too, but this sun, this sun was different. This sun shined only for him today. And his lunch - it had been pork ramen. He usually ate _miso_ ramen, but today he ate pork ramen. Today was going to be different. He knew it.

There are thousands of people who think like this. It's called optimism.

"Hey, Sakura?"

Sakura didn't look up. She didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes. Again.

_Okay…this had happened before…but that was okay, because…she had something in her eye now. Yes! She had been applying mascara before he walked up and poked out her eyeball and if he looked under the table, there'd be a bleeding eyeball on the floor and Sakura doesn't want anyone to see her eye socket all red and gross and veiny._

It made perfect sense.

"Sakura, I-was-wondering-if-maybe-you-would-like-to-go-get-coffee-or-dinner-sometime-my-treat-and-I-wouldn't-make-you-eat-ramen-so-please-say-yes-please-please-_PLEASE_!"

**[NOTE: I put dashes in between the words so it's easier to read**

And then here it was. The moment of truth.

"Um, sorry, but - no. I'm kinda…waiting for someone else."

Pessimism gave optimism a good kick in the shorts and cackled.

"_Who_?"

"Uh, Sasuke - Uchiha. You don't know him."

Naruto lied without meaning to. He said he didn't.

And way up in heaven, God sent Naruto to Hell for lying.

--

"What do you want?" asked Sasuke, who was fluent in French before he came to this school. He had no need to take it once he got here. That didn't stop Kakashi from trying to constantly put Sasuke in his French class.

As a result, Sasuke had little patience and absolutely no respect for the man.

Kakashi was being optimistic even thinking about asking him.

"I have a proposition for you."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "No." He paused, just for dramatic effect. "In fact, _hell_ no."

Kakashi smiled, because he had an ace. "But it would erase the little incident that included you and Gaara a couple of years ago."

Sasuke winced. Kakashi just pulled the card of all cards he could pull. Asshole.

"_What_?" Screw having manners. He just wanted to get out of here.

"I've got a student. Good kid. Hopeless at French. He's failed a total of five tests so far."

Sasuke gaped, "Even the one on _aller_?"

"Even the one on _aller_."

That shocked him. Sure, Kakashi wasn't a very good teacher, but _aller_ was _easy._

Kakashi pushed on gently. "He's a good kid. And I've talked to his other teachers. He's pretty smart. He's just hopeless at French. He needs a little help." Okay, so maybe _a little_ was pushing it a bit.

"Fine. I'll do it. Tell him I have Mondays open."

Kakashi grinned sheepishly. "Um…"

"You haven't told him yet have you?"

"I'm getting there."

--

There was something Naruto dreaded about that black phone that was placed in every classroom. In his English class it attached itself to the wall closest to the door.

Naruto really wished there wasn't a sigh on the door telling English students to be careful, lest they swung the door to hard and damaged the phone. (Incidentally, right next to that sigh, was a sign warning students to not bring any peanut products into the room. A student who happened to be in Naruto's class had an allergy.)

The phone rang. Ominously. The teacher's voice stopped reading _Slaughterhouse-Five _out loud and suddenly took great interest in that black phone.

She answered it. The whole class waited with baited breath for the announcement – the only time the black phone was used was when someone was in trouble.

Click.

"Uzumaki, Kakashi wants to see you after school."

Naruto groaned. Today was _not_ his day.

--

"Look. It's like this."

Twenty minutes and thirty-five seconds later, Naruto was sitting in a desk placed right in front of Kakashi.

"Either you take up tutoring for French _and_ at the end of six weeks, I let you retake your tests for half-credit corrections. Or you fail."

Naruto knew there was no hope. If he refused, Iruka would probably be called and Iruka would probably call the psychologist and if he would probably find out about those pills he was supposed to be taking but wasn't. And then people would want to know why and his psychologist would call social services and then they would take him away from Iruka and put him with a family who would make him sleep out in the doghouse and wouldn't understand why he didn't like thunderstorms and…and …

It was too much.

"Fine. I'll take your stupid tutoring." Optimism came back. "Can I pick my own tutor?"

Oh please say yes, please say yes, _please_ say –

"No. I already have one picked. He's good. Best French student we would have ever had, if he had signed up for the class. He'll meet with you Monday. At 4:30."

"What's his name?" A star French student like this must have a name.

"Hm? Oh, Sasuke Uchiha."

Naruto was beginning to really hate that name.

End Chapter 2

Review.


	3. In Which Karma Sets In

Thanks for all the reviews again. And this time I'm going to give a prize. The person who asks me the most questions, in reviews goes to cluelessninja65! Ya for you!

Sadly, these questions I can't answer. A funny thing called plot development.

Bleepbloopbanana: So you're saying you like my story only when you're fucked up? Good. That's what I'm going for.

Maybe.

**Chocolate Box**

**--**

_Vhy you?Vhy me?Vhy anybody?-_Slaughterhouse_-_five

**In** **Which** **Karma Sets In**

--

Sakura does not know what love is.

She pretends she does.

She pretends that it's when you really, _really_ like someone, and they really, _really_ like you.

--

"Hey."

"Hey."

If both participants start off the conversation with a "Hey" and there is unrequited love in the mix, there is no chance that it will not be an awkward conversation.

Unfortunately, the unrequited love was missing from one of the parties.

"How are you Sasuke?"

"Fine, Sakura."

Sasuke was very aware of who Sakura was. He had refused her affections at least seventy times.

"Sasuke-"

Sasuke really did like Sakura. Sure, she annoyed him, but everyone did that, and she was more tolerable then most. He just didn't like her _in that way._

"I think I-"

Another thing. True love doesn't think. Ever.

"love you."

"Hn," Sasuke looked her straight in the eye without flinching.

Sasuke liked Sakura. He really did. He didn't want to hurt her.

He did it anyway.

--

Naruto wondered if he could balance a pencil on his nose.

Naruto had a list for the number of things he could (and did) balance on his nose during his therapist sessions. It was a way to entertain himself while he adamantly ignored Ebisu.

Who insisted on talking to him.

Ebisu was the best therapist in town, who had cured over two hundred patients. The only one that resisted curing was Naruto – and not for lack of trying.

"Has Kyuubi made any appearances this week, Naruto?"

Kyuubi was supposedly a thousand year-old fox demon. He didn't _really_ exist, but as far as Naruto was concerned, he did.

Okay, so he could balance a pencil on his nose sideways, but could he do it with the point on the tip of his nose?

"Naruto, I asked you a question."

God, this was so much harder than the paper clips he had managed last week. Naruto reached down to pick up the pencil. And it wasn't on the floor. It was in Ebisu's hands.

How had he gotten it?

Naruto reached out his hand to accept the pencil that Ebisu wasn't offering.

"Answer me first." Naruto noted that this was said through gritted teeth. He figured it had something to do with his 'Oath of Silence'. It was probably grating on Ebisu's last nerves.

No.

"Boy, you will comply, or I will have you out of Iruka's faster than you can say 'Screw you'. Remember who you're dealing with. Now: Has the Kyuubi appeared?"

--

"You lied." Naruto often walked home from his therapy sessions. Iruka didn't really have a car. Naruto walked a lot of places.

Technically, if you have the time, everywhere is walking distance.

"Naruto, you lied."

Naruto talked out of the corner of his mouth. When you're talking to a fox demon no one else can see, you learn to be discreet. "Ya, well, I didn't want him to take me away 'cause I'm not taking his stupid pills."

"You lied. That's bad, Naruto. You're bad."

"Go away."

"Liar, liar, Nar-u-to. Maybe you should go away."

Naruto only saw Kyuubi two different ways. One was a very large fox with nine tails. But sometimes…Kyuubi appeared human. A tall one, with red hair and black eyes. Kyuubi liked being human. He liked to smile. Foxes can't smile.

Kyuubi was smiling now.

"I only lie when I have to. He threatened to take me away from Iruka!"

Kyuubi stopped smiling at the mention of Iruka.

"I hate him." Naruto didn't look at Kyuubi – he knew who. "He makes me go away." Kyuubi shrugged. "Maybe I'll kill him."

"_You leave Iruka alone!"_ This was too much, real or not, Naruto's fist made its way to where Kyuubi was standing… and hit a pole.

_He's not real - he's not real - he's not real - he's not real._

Naruto's knuckles were bleeding.

--

Every girl has been rejected.

It is fate.

Sakura handled it like most girls, with a double-shot white chocolate mocha, and a rather large piece of cheesecake.

She sat in a well-lit café, during that afternoon slow time that occurs between breakfast and nightfall. It was a nice café. High quality coffee. Nice service.

An angry customer stormed out and coffee dripped from his nose. One of the waitress explained that she only did it because that pervert had groped her and she didn't like it Thank You Very Much.

Well, maybe not nice service. At least they had nice coffee.

Sakura took in none of this. She ate the entire piece of cheesecake. Her eyes were red from crying. _You'd think I'd be used to it by now._

The same waitress who had dumped coffee over the pervert's head picked up her plate. Pity overcame her. She had been there before. (Well, not exactly there. The last boy who had ever dared to dump her in such a state couldn't make babies anymore, but she had certainly wanted to be there.) The waitress sat across from Sakura – she liked to look people in the eyes when she talked to them.

"Hey."

"Hey."

It was the same way Sakura's conversation with Sasuke had started.

"Wanna talk about it?"

There was nothing more Sakura wanted at that moment.

"It's just well, I don't understand." She choked between sobs. "Why doesn't he love me? I'm smart and nice…and…and pretty! _Why doesn't he love me?"_

Why not, indeed.

"Maybe," the waitress ventured, who knew a thing or three about love, "It wasn't enough."

Sakura gaped. "B-but I love him!"

The waitress shrugged. "So?"

--

Guess I'm going to end the chapter here. I swear, next time we'll have a tutoring session. Once I get all this pesky 'character introduction' crap out of the way and get to the plot. Which I'm trying to develop. It's getting there. I've actually written the whole thing, but that was back in middle school and, trust me, you do _not_ want to read it. So all I've really doing is revising (a LOT of revising) and typing it up.

Actually, for fun, I might post the first chapter of the original story so that you guys can see the difference.

Review.


	4. In Which Iruka makes an Observation

Fourth chapter coming and I swear Naruto and Sasuke will be reintroduced in this chapter. When I originally wrote this(back in 8th grade…cough)I wrote it ALL on notebook paper.

That's right. Not a notebook. Notebook paper.(and the pages weren't together. I had to search for them…you don't even want to know.)

Thankfully, I kept everything I've ever written. So what I'm doing with this story is a ridiculous amount of revision. I'm not kidding. In the original version, Kyuubi was going to be a mul. personality of Naruto who had a crush on Gaara. There were many other changes to, but that's the biggest one.

And the ending. Oh god, the ending.

It is completely different now.

Anyways the entire point of this was to explain that I don't know how chapters work out, so as I'm revising it and typing it I'm trying to cut off the ends of chapters where it makes to most sense.

**Chocolate Box**

--

_There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you- _Peter De Vries

**In Which Iruka Makes an Observation**

Iruka was a keen observer and, like most caring fathers, able to predict the exact outcome of certain situations concerning (for all intents and purposes) his child.

So when Naruto returned from Therapy, heaved a sigh, and collapsed on the couch, Iruka knew what happened, who it happened with and how it turned out.

He asked anyway.

"So, how did it go?" Iruka asked even though he knew the gist of what they would each say. For three years, ever since Kyuubi appeared, they had this conversation every Thursday.

It went like so:

Naruto mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it."

Iruka replied, "Okay, that's fine." Even though it was _not_ fine.

Naruto continued, ranting, "It's just that Ebisu's such a little bitch (The first few times Iruka had interrupted, "Naruto, language!" but had eventually given up) and he doesn't like me at all!"

Iruka said, "How do you know he doesn't like you?"

Naruto snarled, "I just do." (And this was a cue for both parties to pause. Naruto knows the answer he has just given is retarded and "Just knowing "isn't a good reason to dislike someone. But that's the only reason he's got, so he goes with it. Iruka smiles gently, but doesn't push.) "Why do I have to see him again?"

Iruka explained, "Naruto, three years ago, when you first told me about Kyuubi, I thought you were making him up. But then I thought 'He's thirteen, why would he make it up?' So I persisted and sure enough, you were seeing something that doesn't exist. With Kyuubi being such a danger to you and your health, I couldn't just let…He is the best therapist in the city."

"Yeah, you keep telling me that."

And cue the conversation's end.

In the aftermath, Naruto would go to his room and do homework, or whatever it was he did, and Iruka would finish dinner or whatever else he needed to do. They would eat together, do their dues and go to bed later that night.

It worked, if perhaps a bit monotonous.

But tonight, it wasn't just Ebisu tonight. Iruka could tell there was something else.

"Hey, Naruto? Is everything all right?"

No.

"Yes."

It's not.

"Everything's fine."

Kyuubi has been…

"Kyuubi hasn't shown up in a couple of weeks now."

…scaring me again…

"And I think Sakura likes me now." Not.

Iruka?

"Everything's fine."

Everything will be fine, right? He had to keep telling himself that.

"Okay." Iruka let out a breath. "You got any homework?"

Naruto shrugged.

"Well, why don't you go check?"

Iruka was always good at reading between the lines. Especially if they were Naruto's lines.

--

Itachi looked at his brother. There was a crease in his brow.

"What's wrong little brother?"

"None of your business, Itachi."

Itachi smiled. An opening.

"Little brother, I worry. Ever since our parents died, you've been…reclusive."

It wasn't a lie. It was true – Sasuke had been more open prior the death of their parents, but not much.

Sasuke was not thinking about that. He never did think much where it was needed, especially when Itachi was involved. His fists clenched, and he got up from the couch.

"Where are you going?"

Through clenched teeth, Sasuke hissed, "Anywhere but here."

Itachi stopped smiling and put on his concerned face. "Sasuke, you go out too often. You're never at home anymore. Can't we go back?" Out of anyone else's mouth, Sasuke knew – he _knew _– that would have been a plea, a caring question. Out of Itachi's mouth, it was a parody. How dare him. After – after what he did.

Sasuke lost it.

"_Don't_ _ever_ _ask_ _me_ _that_ _again_! Don't ever pretend we can go back! It can never be the same! Mom and Dad! Dead! And you-! _And_ _you-_!" For what else could be said about Itachi?

Itachi smiled as the door behind Sasuke slammed.

--

Naruto often took walks after dinner. It wasn't for the exercise. It was not to clear his mind. It was a classic case of teenage-angst.

He just didn't want Iruka asking him questions.

He loved his guardian, as much as he would have loved his father, but there is a time in every teens life, that no matter how close they were to their parents as children, they want to get away.

Naruto walked everywhere. Or rather, Naruto could walk everywhere. Tonight he was walking in Five points. He liked to think he belonged in Five points. Naruto liked the company.

Perhaps the Five points of Konoha was not as grand as elsewhere, but that didn't matter. It had a café, a joint, a book store (incidentally, the same café Sakura had been crying her eyes out at just hours earlier.). There was an arts center. Naruto didn't read, and he couldn't draw to save his life. His voice sounded like a prepubescent cat, and even his music tastes were a little outdated. He wasn't an artist. But that wasn't the point. Five Points of Konoha was a place for Misfits, and Naruto was a Misfit, if nothing else.

Naruto smiled as he walked down the sidewalk.

A little further down, on a bench, sat a fuming Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto recognized the kid as the one who insulted him this morning. He knows who Sasuke Uchiha is. He just hasn't realized they are the same person.

Knowing that they are wouldn't have stopped Naruto from punching Sasuke in the face right then. In fact, Naruto wouldn't just have punched him. He would have kicked him in the balls too.

He refrained from kicking him, because he was a jerk _like Sasuke was._

"What the hell was that?" Sasuke cried as he covered his swelling nose.

"You jerk! You insulted me this morning! When I was trying to apologize for running into you!" Naruto paused. "And threatened to kick my ass!" he added for good measure.

"I don't even know you!"

"My point exactly."

There was an awkward silence between them. Sasuke glared at Naruto. Naruto waited for the epiphany.

Then, "You mean you don't _remember_?"

"Well, no."

"_How_? It happened this morning!"

"I'm very busy. "

"So? What, you just go around threatening people on a whim?"

"Not on a whim. You said you ran into me."

"Yes, but I was apologizing."

"Well, I have very bad hearing in the morning, you said it was?"

"Actually, it may have been in the afternoon."

Naruto smiled. This guy was a complete asshole. Perfect friend material.

Naruto had never had a friend. Not a real one, anyways. He had plenty of people who liked him, for being a joker and a 'good guy', but no one he could go to when things turned sour. He called them his 'Sunshine Friends.' He didn't want another 'sunshine friend'. Naruto wanted a real friend. If ever there was a real friend out there, this kid was it.

He extended his hand.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

Sasuke stared at the hand. Naruto had rather large palms and long fingers. Piano-hands, some may have called them. Good-for-nothing, Naruto called them. They sweated at the wrong times ("Hey Sakura, How's it going?" "Naruto! You're hands are gross, get away!"). Had Naruto ever taken up piano , he would have found his fingers rebellious and jumpy, unable to play one key before hitting the next.

They were friendly hands.

Sasuke hesitated.

Naruto wasn't insulted. He had seen that hesitation in himself. _Me and him, _he thought, _we're the same._

Sasuke took it.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"_What_?!"

Hands broke contact immediately and all chance of friendship, gone. All was fair in love and war, but it wasn't okay to make friends with the enemy.

"_You're_ Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke got the sinking feeling that this was a bad thing.

"Yes…"

Naruto sputtered. This _jerk_? He had been considering him for a _friend_.

Fat chance.

"I hate you. I really, _really_ hate you."

Sasuke took it personally.

"What did I do?"

"You even have to _ask_?"

And with that, Naruto stalked off.

"Wait a minute."

Naruto Uzumaki?

Wasn't that the name of the boy he was supposed to –

Oh shit.

--

When Naruto returned from his walk that night, Iruka was lying on the couch, reading _Great Expectations. _He could detect Naruto's anger a mile away.

"Is everything all right?"

Naruto turned mid-stomp. He sputtered. Iruka wiped some spittle out of his eye.

"Sasuke Uchiha and I are _nothing_ alike!"

Iruka blinked. "Whatever you say."

--

Sasuke's voice filled the small choir practice room in perfect monotony.

"Repeat after me," Sasuke sighed.

"_Je suis, tu es, il est, elle est, nous sommes, vous êtes, ils sont, elles sont."_

Naruto raised his hand. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched involuntarily. _If he asks one more question, I swear…_

"Can you play the song?"

The practice room was a compact room, with adjustable temperatures and light. It had soundproof walls and a piano with a sign on it that read 'Tune me!' Sadly, it had a clear glass door and janitors working just outside that door, methodically mopping the choir room floor, so there would be witnesses in the case that Sasuke banged Naruto's head across the door until he screamed out in pain, then scream again as the blood finally forced the Uchiha to let go of the blond boy, to hear the soft gurgle that escaped Naruto as he passed into the next world.

It was nice to dream sometimes.

They had met at 4:30. Sasuke had been reviewing the conjugation of the verb _être_ with Naruto since then and it was now nearing six. In the afternoon. The only thing the boy seemed to retain was the memory of the song Sasuke had taught Naruto in hopes he would remember the conjugation.

He hadn't.

The song had greatly amused Naruto though (Sasuke suspected it had more to do with the fact that _Sasuke_ was singing it, as since their meeting last week, Naruto was quite bent on making Sasuke's life as miserable as possible. Something, Sasuke admitted, Naruto was getting quite good at), and Naruto had been begging Sasuke to sing it. For the last hour.

"Can you play it?"

"No! Try to remember it without it!"

Naruto pouted. "Just one more time! And I swear I'll remember it!"

Sasuke sighed, exasperated. He hadn't been this frustrated since Kakashi thought he needed counseling, an idea Itachi had quickly put out of his head. No Uchiha was going to counseling on his watch.

"Fine. Now listen…"

Sasuke turned around and played out a simple melody and sang out –

Thank god for the sound proof glass. He did not need people to know he was singing.

--

Sasuke was _so_ _sure_ that glass had been soundproof.

So he was surprised when a boy in his class (Kiba, maybe?) had run up to meet with him before school the day after his tutoring session with Naruto and said to him, "Hey, nice voice, Uchiha!"

Inside the school, it all made sense. Sasuke's voice sounded over the intercom.

_Fine, now listen…je suis, tu es, il est, nous sommes, vous __êtes, ils sont…_

Over and over again, on a loop.

Sasuke was going to _kill_ Naruto.

"_Naruto_!" he growled, glaring at the boy in question.

"Yes, Sasuke?"

"What the _hell_ is this?"

Naruto smiled. He wished he could smirk, or be more threatening and less creepy, but the smile seemed to have a better effect on Sasuke then a smirk ever would.

"You have such a nice voice."

Naruto didn't think anyone so pale could get so red so quickly. He snickered.

--

Later, Sasuke re-visited the choir room, searching on hands and knees for something he knew he'd find.

"It _has_ to be here somewhere."

Sasuke found a small tape recorder that had been taped under the bench. The button had been pushed to stop, and there was no tape in it.

But there had been.

Sasuke screamed.

The janitors could hear him, even through the soundproof class.

**End** **Chapter**

-About Naruto's voice sounding like a prepubescent-cat. Yeah. It totally does in the anime. Don't even try to deny it. But I was talking more about his singing voice, then his speaking voice.

-'a Sunshine friend.' Reference to the 'Sunshine soldiers' Basically it's a soldier or a friend who will stick with you when everything's fine and happy, but will abandon you when it's time to tough it out.

-About _Great Expectations. _Iruka totally would read a Charles Dickens book like that. And I didn't write that either, thank god.

I rather liked this chapter actually. (and so does the beta )

Review, please.


	5. In Which Sasuke Gets Revenge

Thank you for all the reviews. A lot of people are reviewing and saying things like "I love and hate your story. It's totally cliché and original at the same time."

Mission accomplished.

(Not really. Still actually have to get the story posted.)

I still need a beta. I don't exactly know how it works, but I don't want someone I personally know reviewing my works. I often get more honest opinions from people who don't know me, which is what I want and need.

Thanks again.

**Chocolate Box**

_Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat.- Winston Churchhill_

**In Which Sasuke Gets Revenge**

Kiba was not a particularly good friend of Sasuke.

Actually, Sasuke did not have any particularly good friends.

He preferred to think of his isolation as self-imposed. He was not a sociopath, or a recluse, though often accused of being both; he was just not bothered with the rest of the world.

Despite his reclusiveness, and his unwillingness to make friends, Sasuke was liked. There was some charm in his hate. He ridiculed them and ignored them, yet like cockroaches, they wouldn't leave them alone.

Masochists. They were all masochists.

Kiba didn't smile when Sasuke sat across from him, he had no need to. But when Sasuke finally cracked and asked…

"You want to know _what_?"

"I have no knowledge on this …kind of thing."

"The fact that you want to know in the first place is weirder."

Sasuke had to admit, Kiba was right. He would never have believed it had someone told him last week, or even yesterday.

It was all Naruto's fault, anyways.

Kiba looked at Sasuke in the eye, and said, with a mockingly solemn edge to his voice, "I cannot share my secrets, for it is you, Grasshopper, who must find the power within yourself to perform your prank."

Sasuke scowled at Kiba. "What?"

Kiba sighed. "Look, I can't just give you a written out plan to help you get revenge on Naruto. Naruto is a prank master. Besides, revenge just isn't as sweet unless you come up with it and watch it unravel. "

Sasuke scowled. The way Kiba talked about it, he made it sound like an art form. "Well, what can you tell me about Naruto?"

Kiba shrugged. "You know, just stuff everyone knows about him."

"Humor me."

--

Sakura stared in front of a full length mirror in her room.

_I am a talented, smart, and beautiful woman…_

Sakura just didn't get it.

She was all of these things. She was sure she was. So, why didn't Sasuke like her?

Was it her teeth? She hadn't bothered much with correctional braces when she had them and the fear had carried over that her teeth were not perfect. She felt that it wasn't her teeth's fault; she had just not nurtured them for the performance like she had the rest of the team.

Sakura always thought in metaphors.

She thought about the waitress in the café, and her imperfect teeth and her unrequited love.

That waitress had been smart. Brutal. Maybe it wasn't intelligence but that waitress had something else. Street smarts. That's it. They called it street smarts.

She would go back to that café and she would talk to that waitress. Maybe over dinner?

Nah. That was too much like a date. She would just explain to her everything at the café.

The waitress would know what to do.

--

"Look," Kiba prepared Sasuke, "don't freak out."

"Why would I get freaked out?"

"Well, Naruto's a little weird."

"How?"

Kiba shrugged. "He's just really weird."

"This tells me nothing."

"Well, like, he's got a lot of friends, but he just kinda hangs out by himself a lot. He hides it real well, but he doesn't eat lunch with anybody, or hang out on the weekends and stuff," Kiba paused.

"I'm the same way."

"Yeah, you're weird too," Sasuke grimaced, and Kiba wondered why he was failing speech class. "But you don't have any friends, anyway."

It wasn't going to be Sasuke's fault if Kiba annoyed him enough that he had to beat him up.

"He's great in class because he's funny and distracting, but outside of that you never really see him. And what's really odd," Kiba leaned in, to share this secret, too odd to be just carelessly announced, "Sometimes he talks to himself."

Sasuke leaned back, as though offended. "Kiba, a lot of people do that."

"Yeah, but when he does it, it's more like he's trying to talk to someone next to him, but he's trying to be… trying to be… what's that word that means you're doing something, but you don't want anyone else to know?"

"Discreet?"

"Yeah, that's it. Had that as a vocab word once."

"Why does he hate me?"

"Sakura."

Sasuke was sure he couldn't have heard him right.

"What does Sakura have to do with any of this?"

"Naruto's has asked her out more times than a body could count. He stuck to her harder than anything. And everyone knows Sakura likes you."

It all made sense now. And Sasuke knew what his revenge would be.

--

For a week, Naruto had made it his goal to make Sasuke as angry and uncomfortable as possible. Glue in his seat, trash in his locker (How Naruto got the combination, Sasuke will never know). For an entire day Naruto had followed Sasuke through the halls, singing loudly the Oscar Mayer jingle (the most annoying song in the whole world). A week since they had officially meant, and Naruto had succeeded in making Sasuke's life a living hell.

That didn't matter. Today, Sasuke was extracting his revenge. It was low. It was dirty. It was below the belt.

Sasuke didn't care. It was revenge. That's how it was _supposed_ to work.

Again, as Sasuke walked to school he saw Naruto. _I must have passed him a hundred times and never noticed. Funny how you don't notice someone until it becomes their vocation to bug the shit out of you._

Naruto acknowledged Sasuke first.

"Yo."

Sasuke nodded, as close to a 'hello' was anyone was going to get out of him.

"I know why you hate me," he said, without preamble. Not that Naruto was expecting one.

"Oh?"

"Yes. Pretty stupid reason, especially because I don't particularly like her back."

"Yeah, but that's another thing. You hurt her feelings, refused her, and that I can never forgive."

He decidedly ignored the fact that Sakura had done the same thing to him.

Sasuke frowned. That was a kink he hadn't expected. Naruto was more complicated then he looked.

"There's no way I can do good by you, is there?"

Naruto gave Sasuke a weird look. That look said: _The hell?_

It also said: _Why would you want to?_

Sasuke really didn't know.

--

Naruto droned in Kakashi's class.

They weren't doing anything. They never did anything. And people wondered why he was failing French.

Class wasn't really fun normally, but today it was a real downer, because there was nothing to do, and he wasted all his best pranking material on Sasuke and Sakura was really sad because of the jerk-

Except…she wasn't.

She was surrounded by her gaggle of girls, and smiling and laughing and looking like - like…

Like she had won the lottery or something.

"Hey, Sakura. What happened?"

"Hm?" Sakura existed whatever dream-world she had previously visited. "Nothing, why?"

"Because just yesterday you were sad because of getting dumped, but now you're really happy."

Sakura looked quite pleased. "Naruto, it's just wonderful! Sasuke asked me out on a date! We're going to go get coffee at that café in Five Points." Sakura had suggested the place.

"At first, I thought he didn't like me," Sakura blurted excitedly, "but it turns out he was just shy! It's so romantic!"

"But - " Naruto protested. He doesn't love you, he wanted to say.

She looked so happy. He couldn't bring himself to ruin it.

"I'm glad."

Sakura beamed. That was all Naruto wanted. That smile.

"I'm really glad you are. I was worried because I know you don't like him. He really is a great guy. I'm sorry, Naruto. We can still be friends."

Having someone tell you that is like having your mom tell you your cat died, but if you want, you can still keep the body.

Naruto was going to kill Sasuke Uchiha.

--

"What the _hell_ was that for?"

This time it was not Sasuke, but Naruto. No physical action had occurred. Yet.

Sasuke looked at Naruto. He was fuming. Good.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you ask Sakura on a date? You just told me yourself you didn't like her!"

Sasuke shrugged. "I changed my mind, I guess."

Naruto's eyes widened. It wasn't _Sakura_ that Sasuke was trying to hurt, he realized in a burst of revelation. It was _him_. This was Sasuke's revenge. And it hurt. And as Sasuke was standing there smirking, he realized he would never be able to change this boy's mind. There was no plea he could make; no way would he ever be able to convince Sasuke not to go on that date. Sasuke was going to take Sakura on a date, then dump her, and it was because of _Naruto_.

"You sick fuck," Naruto spat in his face and walked away.

Sasuke smirked, than wiped the spit off his cheek.

--

-About Sasuke taking Sakura on a date thing. If I get any reviews that are like: "Wah! Sasuke's not that mean!" I will use the power of referencing to prove to you that he can be.

-"No physical action had occurred. Yet." Oh, pun defiantly _intended_.

Review please.


	6. In Which Everything Has a Price

I'm not done. Not even close.

Thanks for all the reviews. I got a lot and I am honored.

Also, this story is now being betaed by the wonderful lyris-s. All the mistakes fixed are her doing. Everything wrong is mine.

I'm happy writing this. It's going to be updated.

**Chocolate Box**

_Why is it, that as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns then holding hands?- Ernest Gaines_

**In Which Everything Has a Price**

"I just love this café! Don't you? It's just so romantic, isn't it?" Sakura clung to Sasuke's arm as they walked to an empty table in the café. Out of the corner of Sasuke's eye he swore he saw Naruto - but no. Just this awful lighting making him see things.

Sasuke also noticed that every statement the girl had made had somehow been turned into a question.

How absolutely unassertive.

As Sakura drabbled on, a blonde, spiky-haired waitress took their orders. The waitress reminded Sasuke a lot of Naruto and as the waitress looked from Sakura to Sasuke and glared at the stoic boy, Sasuke found himself reminded of Naruto even more.

Naruto commanded his thoughts. Every time he turned around he saw the boy. Even on his way here, he thought he had seen him, but there was no way. Sasuke had taken so much care and precision to humiliate, degrade and ultimately crucify him. He wondered if his hallucinations had to do with his guilt. It was odd. Sasuke didn't like it, yet at the same time was too entertained to stop himself.

_You sick fuck._

Sasuke cringed at the memory.

"What do you think, Sakura?"

The pink-haired girl paused in her speech and gave him a questioning look.

"What do you think about Naruto?"

"Naruto?" Sakura repeated. "Well, he's… he's sweet."

"Sweet?"

"Yes. And I suppose he's cute. I know he doesn't like you and you don't like him but-"

"Who said I didn't like him?" Sasuke asked before he could stop himself.

Sakura blinked. "No one. Everyone just assumed that you didn't because he played all those pranks on you."

"Oh."

"Anyways, when I told him we were coming here, do you know what he said? He said that he was happy for us! Can you believe it? And of course, I said thank you…"

"He really said that?"

"Yes."

Sasuke conscience punched him in the gut. He didn't know he had a conscience. Of all the times it could have come…

"Sakura, why don't you like Naruto?"

Sakura stopped short of a smile. She had been on dates before, and usually one wasn't asked why they didn't like someone else.

"Because… I just don't. He's not the one, I guess."

"How do you know I'm the one?"

Sakura stopped. She had never thought about it before.

"I… "

Sakura looked away from Sasuke. What was that behind that plant?

It was the waitress, waving her arms, motioning for her to come

"Excuse me, Sasuke. It's that time of the month." Sakura winced. Had she just said that? You didn't say that to a date! You tell that to your best girlfriend, or your gay friend or…

Anyone else! But not a date!

But talking with Sasuke – being so close to him – It had been so comfortable. Sakura was content.

What the hell was she thinking?

--

Naruto had indeed followed Sakura and Sasuke and was now sitting in the corner disguised behind a pair of dark sunglasses and the lighting of the restaurant - what some people called mood lighting.

_I wear my sunglasses at night…night…night…_

Naruto was in good eavesdropping distance: far away enough so that people of hard hearing wouldn't hear a thing, but close enough so that a he could. He had been lazily listening in and out of their conversation (more afraid that the points of topic would be Sakura's love for Sasuke, Sasuke's hate for Naruto, and the weather than anything else.) listening for key words and phrases such as: I wish Naruto was here so he could kick Sasuke's butt, Sakura I'm only going out with you because I'm a pretentious ass, date Naruto instead of me, Oh Goddess...You're right Sasuke, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

_Who said I didn't like him?_

No one. No one had said it. No one but him. Naruto had realized, sometime last week, that Naruto wasn't rejecting Sasuke because of Sakura, but because Sasuke could not like him. Sasuke had never hated him, but Naruto assumed he would, he must because Naruto was Naruto and there was no way someone like Sasuke could ever like someone like Naruto. It'd be like asking a snake to be friends with a frog.

Who said snakes and frogs couldn't be friends?

Where does it say?

Naruto didn't know.

--

"What do you want?"

The waitress pulled Sakura over to the plant to block her from Sasuke vision.

"That boy the one, huh?"

"The one?"

"The one you were crying your eyes out over the other day."

"Yeah. What about it?"

"He doesn't love you."

"What?"

The waitress moved closer to Sakura. "I can tell. He's not even attracted to you like that."

"How can you tell?"

"How can you not?"

Sakura stiffened. A tear was about to fall from disbelief.

"I don't believe you."

"Ask him why he's here if you're not sure."

Sakura walked out of the bushes. And she could not smile.

"Wait! Girl!"

Girl? Yes. But not for long.

Sakura walked toward the table. Every step was a denial. She didn't want to dispel the illusion, if indeed that's what it was. But she would not play these games, as little girls often do.

"Sasuke?"

A grunt. Not even a look of acknowledgement.

"Why are you here if you do not love me?"

_Please say you love me. Please correct me. Say, Sakura what are you talking about? You know you are my one, my only-_

"Because I needed to be satisfied."

Sakura stiffened again. "Satisfied?"

"Yes."

"Oh," She relaxed. "I see."

Then she turned around. "Excuse me?" Sakura said, addressing an elderly man enjoying his cheesecake. "May I see this?" indicating the cake.

Before anyone could have time to protest, it was on Sasuke's head.

That move would change Sakura's life. It would also land her a job.

But right now it granted her satisfaction.

She grabbed her purse and left the restaurant quite satisfied.

--

Sasuke sighed. It was done. The revenge had come full circle. Sasuke had gotten his revenge on Naruto and Sakura had gotten his revenge on Sasuke. He was done. He did not care anymore.

Someone was offering him a napkin.

It was a short boy, with spiky blonde hair and sunglasses that were covering half his face, but if Sasuke removed them, he knew he'd find blue.

_Naruto._

"I thought there were laws against stalking."

Naruto took off his sunglasses and sat down across from Sasuke. "What? Are you kidding? Everyone would be out of a job, if they couldn't stalk."

Sasuke grunted. "What do you want?"

"Just waiting for a moment so I could kick your ass, teme."

Sasuke smirked. "If you could, dead last."

It was nice, talking like this. Sasuke covered in syrupy strawberries and cheesecake, and Naruto, playing ninja while wearing orange and carrying about glasses that would blind a man if worn with this lighting.

"So you told Sakura the truth?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Not so much in words as in actions. She got the point either way."

"Yeah, Sakura's real smart. She has the highest grade in French Three."

"Then why didn't Kakashi assign her to tutor you?"

"Probably because he knew I would spend more time asking her out then actually studying."

"Ah." It made sense. Unfortunately.

"That reminds me." Sasuke stood up. "You have tutoring Monday. Don't be late. Last time you had me waiting for an hour. I almost left."

"Hey! I told you, I was only late because of personal stuff!"

"You probably missed the bus!"

"Well, it's your fault."

Sasuke turned to leave. "Whatever, dobe."

"Don't call me that, bastard!" Naruto hissed at Sasuke's back. Sasuke waved it off.

Why couldn't he ever come up with good comebacks when he needed them?

--

Review please. I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to end the chapter here, but that's what I'm going to do...so please review.


	7. In Which Sasuke Sees Evil

7 chapters and running.

I'm pretty happy.

Thank you for all the reviews.

**Chocolate Box**

**In Which Sasuke views Itachi as a special brand of Evil and Naruto Dares to Hope**

_Evil is just a point of view- _Anne Rice

After Ebisu threatened Naruto with separation from Iruka two weeks ago, Naruto had at least been talking to Ebisu about his life. At least, he had been making up stuff about his life.

Ebisu sat across from him now, boring holes into him with his eyes. He was completely still. Naruto wondered if he was still awake.

"Schools going well."Lie. "I'm thinking about trying out for basketball." Lie, again. "I haven't seen Kyuubi." Three lies make a charm. "And-I think I may have a friend." The first honest thing he had said in weeks. This made Ebisu move at least. Good. He was still alive then.

"Really?" he said, his eyes narrowed. "Does this one exist?"

Naruto stopped short. He knew Ebisu hated him-just as Naruto hated Ebisu-but that…was cruel. He did not know what prompted him to say this, but he did.

"I…no. Probably not."

"Why would you say that?"

"He had red eyes." Naruto wanted to cry. "And a tail," he added for good measure.

"Ah." Silence sat between them. Naruto wanted to break it with this:

He was not crazy. He was okay. He did not need to be fixed. Why did everyone try to fix him?

Naruto hated Kyubbi.

After a few moments of that painful silence Ebisu broke it. "I can see you've made no improvement. I'm doubling your dose. If this 'new friend' doesn't disappear in a month, I'm changing your prescription." Ebisu sighed, grew softer. "It's not working Naruto. There's not much else I can do."

555

Periodically, when Naruto was sure he was sleeping (he was sure, because he took sleeping pills every night.) he dreamed two different dreams.

_Naruto was lying in sand and the sun was glaring over him. Kyuubi was next to him, grinning like a madman. Naruto wasn't sinking-yet. Kyuubi was being uncommonly gentle, stroking his hair and singing __him songs in a language he couldn't understand but sounded somewhat like French. It isn't until halfway through the dream Naruto notices there is blood on Kyubbi's hand. Naruto's throat is choked with sand when he opens to ask:' who's blood?' and he wakes up before he dies._

That one was bad, but that was nothing compared to the dream he saw most often.

_Naruto wasn't lying down, but standing up and was surrounded in fog. Naruto isn't alone, Kyuubi is with him always with him, except in this dream he's silent and smiling and that scares Naruto more than anything. Then someone speaks, and it's neither Naruto or Kyuubi but someone else, someone outside the fog and Naruto wants to know what they say but never can and then-_

He's awake in a pool of sweat, and sometimes a pool of piss because that dream scares him the most and it's at that time Naruto is the most scared of the future and of what might happen.

After these dreams he is ashamed.

He hides it well.

555

Sasuke and Suigetsu used to be friends.

Well. No. Friends, is perhaps, too liberal a term. They could, however, spend time with each other and not kill one another. They had even plotted together.

But that was another time, another place, and while the occasional nod was shared between the two boys, on the whole they ignored each other.

It was nothing personal, but Sasuke would rather gouge out his eyes with a spoon then be on a first-name basis with Suigetsu ever again.

He was surprised, then when Suigetsu approached him that afternoon. There were no introductions, no: "It's been a while," nothing. Just a question.

"You're tutoring Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Yes."

"Does he remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Tha-" Suigetsu stopped short of himself. He mumbled something under his breath then-"Never mind. Just be careful around Uzumaki. That kid's trouble."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto wasn't that bad. "How do you know Naruto?"

Suigetsu raised an eyebrow. "First name basis, Uchiha?"

"I'm tutoring him."

"Just be careful, Uchiha. I don't like where this is going."

He walked away and as he did Sasuke glared at the retreating back-"Just be careful,"? What the hell was that?

555

"The word of seafood is _fruit de mer._ I can't even read what you have written here."

"The word for seafood is _fruit de mer?_ Who would have known it? Other then the French."

"What did you think it was?"

"_Une seafood."_

"Naruto, you can't take any English word, put un or une in front of it and say its French. Besides, _fruit de mer _is masculine. To make it feminine would be ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous is giving these words sexes. What's the point?"

And so tutoring went. Naruto was sure he was getting better. Even Sasuke thought so. He had his first make-up test next week. The Name of Foods, and the conjugation of the subjative tense. Ugh. Putting those in a chapter together should be illegal. He was getting most of the vocabulary but there were some concepts he could wrap his head around.

The femininity and masculinity of foods for example.

"Is a _pomme _care if it's feminine? No. Why give fruit a sex if it's not going to hook up with other fruit and fuck like rabbits?"

Blunt as always.

"Naruto, people have been speaking this language for years an-"

"So? That doesn't make it any less ridiculous I mean come on. Some of these are just weird. Who decides a table is masculine and a purse is feminine?"

"Actually, Naruto, a bag is masculine and a table is feminine."

"See? See?! That's even weirder. Why is a bag masculine? How many guys do you seen with _un sac?_"

"Actually, the idea of a man carrying a purse has become very main scene. On 'the street,' I believe it's referred to as the 'murse.'"

"No shit?"

"So I'm told."

"Well. I'll be darned."

Sasuke sighed. All this time wasted. And only one more tutoring session before Naruto's first makeup test. Either Naruto had to get a brain transplant or Sasuke needed to create a time machine. "Naruto, try referring to your fruits and vegetables by their sexes this week. Instead of asking for _it_, ask for 'he' and 'she'. You may remember it."

"Good tip."

"Next week is the last tutoring session before the test. The Last One. As in, everything we've been working on will be tested. As in, not only you, but also me. Do you understand me?"

Naruto gave a good-natured grin. His smile was lopsided, careless, and seemingly outside of the loop. "Don't sweat it Sasuke. I got this stuff."

"I hope so."

"Have a little confidence. See you next week."

Sasuke stared at Naruto's retreating back. Confidence. Right.

555

When Sasuke walked into his parents house Itachi was not there. Sasuke did not keep tabs on his brother but he imagined that Itachi was out boozing or smoking or looking for whores, even though Sasuke knew he wasn't doing anything of the sort. That would make Itachi a sort of evil Sasuke could deal with. He could control an Itachi who was an alcoholic or a druggie. Or at least interested in cheap sex. Sasuke wanted to deal with some kind of bad that normal kids went through.

Sasuke rummaged through his fridge. Despite Sasuke's love for moldy cheese one of them had to go shopping. One couldn't live off of sour milk forever.

Sasuke went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Pale skin, red eyes, black under the eyes. _He _was the one who looked like a druggie. He needed to lay down.

What had caused this? He was a wreck. No action. Nothing. One thought kept him going. He was a junior. In a year and a half he would be out of High school and out of the house. Somewhere nice. And warm. Maybe Florida. Just one more year after this year.

"Sasuke?"

"Itachi."

"Who is this Naruto Uz-u-maki?" That's how he said his name. Just like that.

"How do you know about Naruto?"

"I worry when you don't come home."

"Are you checking up on me?!"

"You've been meeting with him every Monday at 4:30. Why?"

"Are you following me to? I swear to god, you are one sick son-of-a-"

"I believe that is not the subject at hand Sasuke." Sasuke was suddenly aware that Itachi was very close to him. When had he moved. Sasuke moved to step away, but as he did, Itachi caught his arm and squeezed.

"Who is he little brother?"

"I tutor him okay! In French! Is that enough information for you, Big Brother?"

"That's it? You have no relationship outside of master and student?"

"No! And why do you care?"

"No reason." Itachi let go of his arm and made for the stairs. "I'm in a pizza mood tonight. See that it happens."

Sasuke was left, standing in the kitchen and cursing the ground Itachi walked on.

Just one more year.

555

Done with the 7th chapter. Sorry for the delay. I had a slight writers block.

Woot!

-_fruit de la mer_ literally means 'fruit of the sea.' _Pomme _means 'apple'

-_un sac_ the French word for purse. And it really is masculine.

-"Is that enough information for you, Big Brother?" No, I'm not going crazy with caps, it's a _1984 _reference. Big Brother is watching you.

-All puns intended.

-I've posted another chapter story and a new one-shot concerning Naruto's parents, which means SPOILERS!!

-reposted this chapter with French corrections. Stay with me-I'm not actually French. Thanks to Samantai and Tayuyax for the info

R&R


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